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A PUBLICATION FROM THE N’WEST IOWA REVIEW

BRIDES

& B O U Q U E T S

School sweethearts

walk down the aisle

Ceremony inspired by

previous generations

Wedding blends their

families of seven boys

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Family ties

Ceremony inspired by weddings of previous

generations with vintage dresses on display.

A match made in Unity

High school sweethearts take walk down

aisle during outdoor ceremony at park.

ON THE COVER 10

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The right match

Best friends play matchmakers for this couple, and

they meet for the first time at a friends’ wedding

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STORY BY SARAH LABRUNE JONGELING | PHOTOS BY JERI A. PHOTOGRAPHY OF REMSEN

DANIEL & HANNAH

Family ties


The wedding of Daniel Lester and

Hannah Oltman was inspired by

weddings of the past. On display

when guests walked into the

Sioux Golf & Country Club in

Alton were generations of wedding dresses.

“My mom had her dress, her mother’s —

my grandma — and her grandma’s — my

great-grandma — wedding dresses,” Hannah

said. “All three were on display, and it was

so fun to see different generations of dresses

and how they changed.”

The couple also had a table of wedding

photos from each side of the family.

“It was a table to show all the love from

before us that led us to each other,” Hannah

said. “I wanted a tribute to our family. They

are the reason that we are where we are.”

The couple met in January of 2020

through the Facebook dating app and found

out they have mutual friends despite growing

up in different communities.

Hannah, originally from Orange City,

attended MOC-Floyd Valley High School in

Orange City before going to Western Iowa

Tech Community College in Sioux City.

Daniel grew up in Sioux City where he

graduated from East High School.

Hannah is now a public relations financial

administrative assistant for Pizza Ranch

Restaurant Support Office and Daniel is

training to be the manager of the Neal Chase

Lumber Company’s new location in Hospers.

After three years of dating, Daniel proposed

and then the wedding planning began

with a few hiccups.

“Originally, I had heard of the Triple Box, a

venue just south of Orange City, from work,”

Hannah said. “We were excited to hold our

special day there. November 2023 rolled

around, and I received a notification that our

venue burned down.”

Unfortunately, the venue also was supplying

the caterer, so Daniel and Hannah had

to start over with only four months to plan

their wedding. Additionally, they recently

had left the church they were attending and

were on the hunt for a new congregation to

join.

“My uncle saved the day and reminded

me of the county club on the golf course in

Alton and he recommended we give their

church a try,” Hannah said in reference to

the Sioux Golf & Country Club and Alton

Reformed Church. “They thankfully were

available for our wedding date. In the end,

we found a wonderful venue, a new church

for us both, and a new caterer.”

The couple had compromised on a wedding

date. Hannah wanted a winter wedding

and Daniel did not want to get married in

cold weather, so they picked Saturday, March

16, 2024.

“Which I like to point out was still technically

winter,” Hannah said.

The wedding colors were emerald green,

dark gray and gold. Included in the wedding

party were bridesmaids, Morgan Vlaminck,

friend of the bride; Beth Oltman, the bride’s

sister-in-law; Samantha Suckow, friend of

the bride; and Brittney Rollefson, friend

of the bride. Groomsmen were Michael

Stephens, Michael Searls, Alex Sopoci and

Josh Geister, all friends of the groom. The

flower girl was Clair Roghair, friend of the

bride, and ring bearer Avery Lester, son of the


“ I like the way she makes me feel

when I’m around her, like there’s

light and warmth around me. She

makes me strive to be a better

version of myself” — DANIEL LESTER

groom.

Hannah worked on many aspects of the

wedding in a short amount of time and was

pleased with how the day turned out. One

unique feature of the wedding reception was

the party favors.

“I didn’t want something that people just

use once and throw away,” Hannah said. “I

had the idea of collecting old glasses.”

When guests walked into the reception,

each person could grab a unique glass. The

glasses were all different shapes and sizes

and came in the colors of green, gold, black,

clear or white. Each guest took their glass

home with them at the end of the wedding.

Hannah also wanted to go nontraditional

on the food and have a taco bar.

“And to find someone who does that in

northwest Iowa was a bit more of a struggle

than I thought,” Hannah said.

Looking back on their wedding, the couple

would not change many aspects except

time to visit with everyone and a photo

dash. The couple had debated doing a photo

dash where the bride and groom get a

photo with each table.

“Time goes so fast on your wedding day,”

Hannah said. “The only thing I would

change would be to find time to talk to our

guests. Yes, you get to greet them as they exit

the ceremony, but getting to talk and engage

with at the reception would have been nice.”

Ultimately, looking back on their wedding

reminds the couple of why they are

together as they make their home in Alton.

“I like the way she makes me feel when

I’m around her, like there’s light and warmth

around me,” Daniel said. “She makes me

strive to be a better version of myself.”

“He’s always keeping me on my toes,”

Hannah said. “Danny also came with a

bonus package. Not only do I get the love

of my life, but I get a stepson to love as my

own.” •


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STORY BY CLAIRE COSIER | PHOTOS BY SARA GEERS OF SIOUX FALLS, SD

TYRELL & OLIVIA

A match made in Unity


For Tyrell Hulshof and Olivia Fedders,

love blossomed from familiar roots.

Both grew up in Ireton, about five miles

apart, and they knew of each other,

but their paths did not cross until their

time together at Unity Christian High School in

Orange City.

Olivia’s best friend truly set the stage for their

romance, setting the two up together. She planned

a double date for them.

“We went to her house,

and we made pizzas, and we

played games,” Ty said. “It

went really well for the first

date, and it just kept on going.”

By the end of Ty’s senior

year of high school, the couple

had been dating for two

years.

Ty graduated from Dordt

University in Sioux Center in

May with a degree in agriculture

business and plans for a

real estate career and to farm

on the side. Olivia is pursuing

a degree in social work at

Dordt and will graduate in

December.

Knowing they wanted to

get married after Ty graduated,

he schemed to catch Olivia

completely off guard about

the engagement timeline.

“I tell her, ‘Yep, I’m going to propose in two

weeks,’ and then I probably said that for about

two months, and it would get her hopes up,” Ty

said.

“He would deliberately plan these dates where

it seems like he was going to propose just so that

I didn’t suspect anything when it actually happened,”

Olivia said.

Then, the morning of Sunday, April 14, arrived,

and Ty put his plan into motion. The couple


planned a horse-riding outing with Olivia’s

family, but Ty suddenly contracted an “illness.”

“I faked a headache really bad so I was like, ‘I

can’t go horse riding, my head is killing me,’ and

I went back home and went to bed,” Ty said.

“Or so she thought.”

Tyrell had a plan to propose, and it had to

be timed precisely because the place he chose

to propose to her, Newton Hills State Park near

Canton, just over the border into South Dakota,

had no reception.

“The plan was to have all of her friends and

family and people come for a party afterward,

so they had to come after they left on the horse

ride, but not too late,” Ty said.

He planned for a photographer and Olivia’s

best friend to hide to get photos and videos of

the proposal. When she arrived, he brought her

down the path to a blanket with candles and

flowers next to a string of pictures of the two

throughout their four years together.

“As soon as we go in there and as soon as I

turn the corner, I see Tyrell and I had no idea,

like I thought I was dreaming,” Olivia said.

“Then he walked me down to the proposal spot

and asked me to marry him. It was really sweet

because then afterward I saw my best friend in

the trees taking a video, so I got to run and give

her a hug.”

“When all my friends and family were there

afterward, I didn’t see that coming either,” Olivia

said.

The two knew they wanted to get married at

Newton Hills where Ty proposed. While not the

exact proposal spot, they found a location it was

Olivia Fedders’ dad, Brad, walks her down the

aisle during her marriage to Tyrell Hulshof in an

outdoor ceremony held on Saturday, June 7, 2025,

at Newton Hills State Park near Canton, SD.


next to a lodge, with a wide-open green space for their

ceremony.

Olivia said something unique she wanted to have at

the wedding was to carry her great-grandmother’s Bible

down the aisle, instead of a bouquet.

“That’s something my great-grandma gave me before

she passed away, and that was something I had really

wanted,” Olivia said. “A couple days before the wedding,

I had opened the Bible and found that in the first couple

pages it said that she carried that Bible down the aisle

when she got married to my great-grandpa in 1953.”

The couple also honored loved ones, saving seats for

Ty’s grandparents, who died before the wedding.

The morning of the wedding, the two did a first look

and had private vows.

“From our first date, I had been journaling and kind of

writing some of these special memories, different stories

that we’ve had together, different prayers that I’ve had,”

Olivia said. “I wrote my vows in the very last couple

pages of that book that I’ve been working on throughout

our whole relationship.”

Despite a week of rain in the forecast, the weather on

their wedding day, Saturday, June 7, 2025, was perfect.

“When I walked down the aisle, I was trying to hold

back my tears, I think Ty was too,” Olivia said. “During

our ceremony, we were facing the crowd the whole time

instead of having our backs to the crowd, so that was

kind of fun to be able to look over and see who is all

there.”

After the ceremony, a party bus took them to the reception

at Terrace View Event Center in Sioux Center,

about 30 minutes away.

“We did our first dance, took sunset pictures, danced

the night away, it was really, really fun,” Olivia said.

Now settled into a newly updated small house in

Sioux Center, the couple said it has been nice to start

their life journey together. They went on their honeymoon

to Cancun, Mexico, in the last week of July. •


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BRANDON & MORGAN

The right match

AUGUST 2025 | BRIDES & BOUQUETS 15

Brandon Winkel and Morgan Erpelding have

surrounded themselves with some good friends.

Without them, they wouldn’t be husband and

wife.

They met through their best friends, Jason and

Mercedes Stegemann. The Stegemanns later became the

matron of honor and best man at the Winkels’ wedding

ceremony.

“My best friend from high school — middle school, actually

— married his best friend,” Morgan said. “She basically

said, ‘I know a guy that you should meet.’”

The then 21-year-old Morgan contacted the then 23-yearold

Brandon through Snapchat.

“I felt like my best friend wasn’t going to steer me wrong,

so I just decided to try it out,” Morgan said. “I knew God’s

timing wasn’t going to lead me astray.”

They first met in person at the wedding of some more

friends, Rick and Kaley Klein. Morgan and Brandon said it

was easy to fall for each other.

“When I first met Morgan in person, it was like I already

known her for a long time,” said the now 26-year-old Brandon.

“It felt easy. She fit in really well with everybody. I knew

something was different that very first time.”

“He was happy and outgoing and would help me get out

of my shell,” added

24-year-old Morgan.

The couple dated

for about a year before

their engagement.

Brandon kept the

proposal a secret from

Morgan, planning

with her family.

“It was very important

to me to get as

much of her family

and friends involved

as I could,” Brandon

said.

Morgan’s family has

a lake house on Green

Lake in Spicer, MN.

“That’s Morgan’s

happy place,” Brandon

said. “She loves going

up there, and I knew

that is where I wanted

to do it.”

Brandon’s parents,

Todd and Tracy Winkel, came up to the lake house that

Labor Day weekend in 2023. Morgan was aware that Brandon’s

parents were coming, but she was still unaware of

what was to happen that weekend.

“Before we went out to do all the water activities, that was

when I did it,” Brandon said.

Brandon got down on one knee on the dock, asking Morgan

to marry him. Everyone but Morgan was aware of the

proposal. Family and friends avoided the dock, standing on

the shore, waiting for when they knew Brandon was going to

pop the question.

“I was sidetracked,” Morgan said. “I was busy loading the

boat and had no idea what everyone was doing. And then he

pulled me on to the dock and got down on one knee.”

Brandon recruited Morgan’s then 12-year-old sister, Addison

Schutjer, to record the proposal.

“She climbed up and hid in a tree,” Morgan said.

Although this was Brandon’s official time asking Morgan

to marry him, it was not the first time Brandon proposed to

her.

The couple walked together during the Stegemanns’ wedding.

“Mercedes had it planned out. We walked down the aisle

together. She didn’t switch people around after we met. That

was her order the entire time,” Morgan said.

For the Stegemanns’ reception entrance, Brandon jokingly

proposed with a beer can. Less than 12 months later, he proposed

with a ring.

Brandon and Morgan were married on Saturday, June 28,

2025.

“I didn’t want to do fall or spring because I came from a

farming family. So, I knew those seasons were out,” Morgan

said. “And I like summer better winter.”

The couple got married at St. Paul Lutheran in Sheldon,

but neither come from a Lutheran background. Brandon

was raised Catholic, and Morgan was raised Methodist.

“So, that was a big part of planning. Figuring out ‘Where

16 BRIDES & BOUQUETS | AUGUST 2025

do we want to get married?’” Brandon said. “We had some

friends that went to the Lutheran church, and it felt very welcoming.

We knew at that point that it was the right fit.”

Another unknown for a while was not knowing who was

going to officiate their wedding, because St. Paul Lutheran

was without a pastor for about 15 months. The Rev. Christopher

Martin became the senior pastor of St. Paul Lutheran in

June. He officiated the Winkels’ wedding.

“We found out two months before the wedding that they

found a new pastor,” Morgan said. “We met with him over

Zoom before he even moved here and then met a couple

times in person. He did a really good job.”

“To us, that was like God’s timing,” Brandon added. “We

didn’t know who was going to marry us. We didn’t know

what we wanted to do with that. There was a lot of questions,

and then everything came together.”

Even though the Winkels had a few unknowns leading up

to their special day, they knew that they wanted to have their

reception at Crossroads Pavilion Event Center in Sheldon,

which also happens to be where the

couple first met.

“That was my first time being in

Sheldon,” Morgan said. “It was a

very pretty venue. I loved everything

about it.”

The couple didn’t look at other

venues. They knew they wanted the

reception at the event center.

“I knew that if I was moving here,

it made more sense to get married

where we are going to live versus

getting married back home,” Morgan

said.

Brandon was born and raised in

Sheldon, but Morgan is from Algona.

She attended Hawkeye Community

College in Waterloo to be a

dental hygienist. When looking for

a job, she knew she wanted to find a

place in Sheldon.

“I was going to move to Sheldon

because that’s where he was born

and raised. That’s where he had a

job. It just made sense to us,” Morgan

said. “We both knew instantly

that this relationship was different.”

The wedding celebration combined

the couple’s personalities well.

Morgan said her wedding dress

fit her personality, even though the

dress was different from what she

originally wanted.

“I wanted plain, no lace, no beading.

Just a very simple dress,” Morgan

said. “I tried one on, and I just didn’t

feel like myself in it.”

Morgan found her wedding dress

at Modern Dress in Boone.

“It had different textures and different beads and different

straps,” Morgan said. “They were fun, kind of different.”

The couple wanted their wedding to be modern and simple,

but also elegant and high end. The bridesmaids and

groomsmen dressed in black.

“That was very timeless,” Morgan said. “It wasn’t going to

go out of style. Everyone looks good in black.”

Morgan chose her favorite color, pink, as an accent color.

“I knew I wanted to do black bridesmaid dresses, but I also

wanted to have a colorful bouquet,” Morgan said. “I’m a very

bright and bubbly person. I love pink and yellow, so I knew

immediately that I wanted a bright bouquet.”

The wedding song was “Life with You” by Kelsey Hart.

“We had it chosen since we got engaged,” Morgan said.

Morgan saw Hart was performing in Kansas City at KC

Live!, which aligned with her bachelorette party. Morgan and

“her girls” got tickets and went to the concert.

“We got into the PBR bar where he was performing, and

our bartender looked at us and said, ‘That’s Kelsey Hart right

there,’” Morgan said. “So, one of my bridesmaids went over

and introduced herself and said, ‘This is my friend. She’s getting

married. She’s using your song for the first dance.’”


Before Hart played “Life with You,” he gave the

bride-to-be a shout out, mentioning how he enjoys

when couples use his song.

“It was cool to see it performed in person,” Morgan

said.

Family played a special role during the special

day.

Morgan’s dad, Duane Erpelding, and stepdad,

Paul Schutjer, walked her down the aisle.

Morgan’s grandma and Brandon’s grandma and

great-aunt did the readings. Morgan’s aunt and uncle

were the host and hostess.

“The first time Brandon ever met my uncle, they

clicked immediately,” Morgan said. “My uncle

never had any kids, so growing up, I would spend a

week with them. He was a very big part of my life,

and then Brandon got along so well with him. It felt

fitting for them to be our host and hostess.”

Morgan’s uncle also prayed before the meal.

“He’s very strong in his faith,” Morgan said.

Morgan dedicated her bouquet to her mom,

LaKaye Schutjer, instead of doing a bouquet toss.

“I highly recommend doing a bouquet dedication

to your mom,” Morgan said. “That was a very

important piece for me.”

The couple enjoyed seeing full tables at their wedding

and reception, looking out at everybody they

loved in one place.

“The reception was fun. Just getting to dance and

talk with people,” Morgan said. “Take time during

your wedding day to look out and see everyone.”

Before the meal, the newlyweds did a photo challenge,

getting a picture with every table.

“We have a picture of every single person who

was at the wedding with us, which was cool” Morgan

said.

A unique element at the reception was a

mini doughnut truck, Bask in the Donuts from

Ocheyedan.

“Doughnuts are like my favorite thing in the

world,” Morgan said. “I searched and searched for a

mini doughnut truck to have that. It was something

that fit me.”

Another unique element was a fire truck send off,

with lights and sirens set off for their special day.

“It was exciting to look out as we were driving

away and seeing everyone laugh and wave,” Morgan

said.

The fire department is special to Brandon, who is

a rescue captain for the Sheldon Fire Co. He volunteered

with the fire department since he was 16. He

attended Western Iowa Tech Community College

in Sioux City to be a career firefighter.

The couple lives in Sheldon. Alongside being a

fire rescue captain, Brandon also is a sales representative

for Rome Grinding Solutions in Sheldon.

Morgan works as a dental hygienist at The Dental

Office in Sheldon and teaches classes at Crystallin

Kay Studios.

The couple mentioned God’s timing is a huge

part of their relationship.

“With us, God’s timing was right,” Morgan said. •


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BY CLAIRE COSIER

CCOSIER@IOWAINFORMATION.COM

ROCK RAPIDS—Dreamerz, opened by

Amanda Pike and Jeb Downard in October

in downtown Rock Rapids, is quickly

making a name for itself with homestyle

meals focusing on locally sourced ingredients.

Dreamerz is the only full-service restaurant

in Rock Rapids, serving lunch and

dinner daily as well as breakfast on weekends

at 215 First Ave. in Rock Rapids.

Downard said the restaurant has a family-friendly,

relaxed atmosphere with

oldies music, aiming for a nostalgic diner

feel.

“We want people to come and feel free

to gather and just be with each other,”

Downard said. “And, obviously, providing

great quality, fresh food as the base

of that.”

Dreamerz is one of the 22 restaurant

members of Choose Iowa, a state initiative

to promote Iowa-grown and produced

food, beverages and agricultural

products.

“It means that we put Iowa products not

necessarily on a pedestal, but we choose

them whenever it makes sense for us,”

Downard said.

Through Choose Iowa, Dreamerz hopes

to get involved in agritourism and other

collaboration events with other Iowa

products. One event includes the upcoming

Heritage Days celebration Saturday,

June 21.

Dreamerz will have ham, bacon, and

sausage breakfast sandwiches to grab and

See DREAMERZ on page D4

THE HEARTBEAT OF N’WEST IOWA GROWTH

SECTION D

JuNE 14, 2025

THE N’WEST IOWA REVIEW

Crystallyn Kay’s Studio offers a range of heated classes in the dark, including a strength class, a 45-minute workout focusing

on lifting heavy weights and pushing muscles through targeted or compound movements. Photos by Kaylee Bandstra

BY KAYLEE BANDSTRA

KBANDSTRA@IOWAINFORMATION.COM

SHELDON—Crystallyn Sterler’s fitness

journey began six years ago when

her sister-in-law, Stacey VanOort, encouraged

her to try a heated sculpt class

in Sioux Falls, SD. She never thought

that it would lead to a fitness community

in Sheldon.

“That first class lit a spark in me —

I found something that made working

out fun and fueled my true passion

for fitness. I fell in love with the atmosphere

of the dark room. The heat ignited

something in me, and I couldn’t get

enough from it,” Sterler said. “It was

the longest that I have ever stayed on

a fitness journey. Something about the

sculpt classes kept me coming back.

It was the high energy, the loud music,

the heated rooms. I loved it.”

Sterler routinely went to Sioux Falls

for the special workout classes.

So, she thought, “Why can’t Sheldon

have that?”

With encouragement from her mother,

Carolyn Hanisch, Sterler got a certificate

to teach. She initially decided

to teach classes in Sheldon just for fun.

“Our very first class had eight people

in it. It just slowly started to grow,” Sterler

said. “People were loving it. And I felt

my purpose. I was so passionate about

these classes and the community that

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STORY BY ALEISA SCHAT | PHOTOS BY BRANDON SMART OF SANTA ANA, CA

RYAN & KATE

One happy

blended family


Ryan Feltman and Kate Stellinga’s first

date-that-wasn’t-officially-a-date was

a walk through their shared neighborhood

in Sioux Falls, SD.

“She made the first move,” the

45-year-old Feltman said with a laugh. “She actually

texted me and said, ‘Hey, I need to take my dog

for a walk. You want to come?’”

At the time, the two lived just two blocks from

one another. Kate had recently gone through a

divorce; Ryan was separated, and his own divorce

underway. Neither were sure they were ready to start

dating.

“We met right in the middle and went for a walk,”

Ryan said. “I was able to share a little bit more of

what was going on in my story, and she was able

to share some of her story. It was a week or more

before we actually went on our first date.”

That first long conversation while walking wasn’t

the first time Kate and Ryan had interacted, however.

Their lives had been interwoven since childhood.

Kate and Ryan both graduated from Sheldon

High School — Kate in 2002, Ryan in 1998. Both

moved to Sioux Falls in early adulthood, and Kate

eventually began a career in nursing while Ryan

worked at various churches in the area as a youth

pastor. At the time Kate reconnected with Ryan in

early 2024, she had three children; Ryan had four.

All seven are boys.

“I kind of love telling people that, too, because

— I don’t know — their expression is just priceless

when you tell them you have seven kids,” the

41-year-old Kate said.

Today, they have a big, blended family, and they

cart everyone around in a 15-passenger van. But

when Ryan and Kate first settled in Sioux Falls, they

didn’t know each other well. Still, their lives continued

to intersect in quotidian ways — at sporting

events, school drop offs, the grocery store.

When Ryan and Kate took their first walk together

in early 2024, Kate was already a year-and-a-half on

the other side of divorce. Ryan, however, was in the

middle of it. He was grieving, leaning on friends

and mentors, and looking ahead with uncertainty

toward a life he had not planned.

Ryan and Kate began by exchanging casual messages

on Instagram, updating one another on their

lives. Eventually, they started spending time together

in person.

“I even asked a question about the loneliness

of going through a divorce,”

Ryan said. “And

Kate was able to help

guide me through some

of those things.”

“It’s a vulnerable time,

and I felt that hope was

important,” Kate said. “I

was like, ‘OK, let’s find

ways that we can move

forward. Rather than sit

in this period of, ‘Gosh,

this wasn’t what I was expecting.

This isn’t what

I thought my life was

going to be,’ instead, let’s

view it as a new beginning.”

They didn’t know it at

the time, but it would

be a new beginning for

both of them.

“We were maybe a

month into dating,”

Kate said. “But I said, ‘I

don’t know if I’m ever

getting married again. I

don’t know that it’s on

my radar — I’m kind of

good with that.’”

After some time had

passed, however, the two

were returning from a

date, saying their goodbyes

before heading

back to their houses.

According to Kate, Ryan

asked her if she was any

closer to wanting to get married again one day. She

said ‘No.’

“And he said, ‘Well, don’t worry. I’m usually pretty

good about getting what I want,’” Kate said.

“To this day, he will deny that he said that,” she

added with a laugh. “He’s like, ‘That’s not something

I’d say.’ I’m like, ‘Well, you said it.’”

Beach wedding

Whatever Ryan did or didn’t say, Kate did change

her mind. A week before Thanksgiving in 2024, Ryan

proposed to Kate on Mermaid Beach in Galveston,

TX. They had been together for just a handful

of months, but they knew they wanted to spend the

rest of their lives together.

“I mean, it went really quick,” Kate said. “But

we just kind of felt like we knew each other, having

grown up in Sheldon. And a lot of our stories

crossed — and we knew so much about each other

already — that it just yeah felt right and easy.”

The couple considered having a small but conventional

wedding — the dress, the venue, the

crowd of guests — but they kept getting hung up on

the question of who to invite, and how many.

“We both knew we didn’t really want to do a big

wedding again,” Ryan said. “But where do you draw

the line? What’s small? Who do you not invite?”

Then, two weeks before they took off on a

planned family trip to Disneyland in California,

Ryan proposed a new plan. They would dispense

with the idea of a Sioux Falls wedding and simply

get married on the beach.

“This gentleman sprung it on me two weeks

before,” Kate said with a laugh. “I didn’t want anything

traditional anyway, so I wasn’t looking for

a wedding gown — but I certainly wouldn’t have

chosen to wear what I wore.”

She threw together an outfit before packing up for

their trip — a pale blue top and a white skirt.


“My skirt came from Amazon, and my top came

from a department store — and it was fine,” she

said.

They kept the wedding a secret from their boys,

who are between the ages of 9 and 21. They didn’t

know they were gathered for a wedding until the

small beachside ceremony was about to begin.

The day before, Ryan and Kate had sneaked off to

the Santa Ana Courthouse to pick up their marriage

certificate.

“We were at Disney, and we actually forced the

kids to go back to the hotel to nap or swim,” Ryan

said. “They didn’t know anything about it. They

just thought we were going to the grocery store to

restock for the hotel room.”

On the day of the wedding, they had the boys

dress up on the pretense they were heading to the

“It was so beautiful

— the sun was just

right, the waves

were good.”

— KATE FELTMAN

beach to get family pictures. When they arrived at

Crystal Cove, a stretch of coastal cliffs and beach

front near the Pacific Coast Highway, Ryan headed

down to the shore with the boys while Kate quickly

changed into her wedding attire. Eventually, Ryan

turned to Kate’s 18-year-old son, Braydon.

“I said, ‘Hey, what’s taking your mom so long?

You want to go check on her?’ And so, he went up

and saw her first,” Ryan said.

It was all part of the plan.

“As soon as we got engaged, my 18-year-old was

like, ‘Whenever you guys get married, can I walk

you down the aisle?’” Kate said. “So, Ryan kind of

staged it and had him come and get me and walk

me down this long path on the beautiful beach. It

was so beautiful — the sun was just right, the waves

were good.”

It had all the trappings of a spontaneous elopement

— informal, wind-swept, shoes optional. The

beach was mostly empty, but the couple’s seven


children created a small but lively wedding party.

“Some of them had shoes on, some of them

didn’t — one of them was wet,” Ryan said. “It was

just great. There was constant giggling and laughing.”

It was late afternoon, and the light was beginning

to slant. Their officiant — one of Ryan’s pastor

friends who lives in California — had just flown in

from visiting his daughter in England. He arrived

jet-lagged but happy with an intern who doubled

as a photographer.

“Our pastor forgot that we wrote our own vows,”

Kate said. “So, he walked us through traditional

vows — and then we got out our own vows that we

had written.”

Kate and Ryan took turns speaking their promises

to one another under a big sky, seagulls flapping

overhead, waves crashing against the shoreline.

“We all had bets that Ryan would be the one

crying — he didn’t. It was me,” Kate said. “After we

said our vows, and we kissed and our kids gagged,

we staged some photos and then we just went on to

another beach with our kids.”

It all unfolded how they had hoped, and after

their two eldest sons signed their marriage certificate

back at the van, Ryan and Kate were married in

the state of California.

“We made some phone calls afterward, just to

our parents, that kind of thing, just so they knew,”

Kate said. “But we also wanted it to be just us — our

family.”

After their last beach stop, to celebrate, they went

to In-N-Out Burger, the iconic West Coast fast-food

joint with 1950s-diner vibes and simple burgers,

double-wrapped in paper.

“All nine of us in a 15-passenger van — because

that’s the only way we can now travel,” Ryan said.

“Then we ended up on Laguna Beach for sunset. It

was perfect for us.”

Back home

Back in Sioux Falls, Kate and Ryan had a small

reception with family and friends at a rental venue

the February following the wedding.

“We knew family and friends that wanted to celebrate

with us, and so we had an opportunity to do

that,” Ryan said.

Since then, Ryan, Kate and their seven boys have

settled into new rhythms, in a new house that is

often buzzing with activity.

“We both work full time, our boys play all the

sports, we have chickens in the back yard,” Kate

said.

Kate is a nurse in obstetrics and gynecology and

works in an Avera Health clinic in Sioux Falls. Ryan

is the ministry director for Cultivate Co-op, a

ministry of the Reformed Church in America that

is headquartered in Orange City, where Ryan makes

regular trips for work.

They renovated their house to create extra bedroom

space for the younger kids, who live with

them half the time. Their older boys are still living

at home, too. The family makes constant trips to

Costco.

“It’s like, we could go to Costco, and two days

later, one of our boys will be like, ‘There’s nothing

to eat in this house,’” Ryan said.

At the same time Ryan and Kate are settling into

life together as newlyweds — and as partners in

parenting — their eldest two boys are about to leave

the home. Braydon plans to join the U.S. Army, and

21-year-old Leighton will soon be married himself.

But with their four youngest boys, who are between

the ages of 9 and 11, they have established a bedtime

routine — one quiet ritual in the midst of the

wild ride that is their daily life.

“In the beginning, it was very difficult — just

because her boys were in hockey, my boys were

playing basketball, and so we would divide and

conquer almost every night,” Ryan said. “The thing

that has helped us is we have created a bedtime routine.

We’ll go into one of the two bedrooms that the

four of those guys are in and do devotions together

and say our prayers. And then once they’re in their

rooms, it’s finally our time to connect.”

They also make time for daily walks, a small way

of returning to the early days of their relationship,

when they were still uncertain what the future held

for them.

“Divorce is such a dirty word in the church, and

yet I would say on the other side of it that God’s

hand was in all of that,” Ryan said. “There may

have been hard times, but it was because of those

hard times that we actually got to where we are

now — and I’m so grateful for it. And of course, in

the midst of it, you don’t wish it on anybody, but

there’s lessons to it. And I can look back on it and

realize what we have now is far greater than I ever

dreamed of before.”

They haven’t yet been married for a year, but Ryan

and Kate will soon begin another new and unexpected

chapter together. Kate’s father, Ken Stellinga,

who formerly owned Prairie Queen Bakery in Sheldon,

was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Not long before Kate and Ryan received news of

the diagnosis, Kate read an article about a group of

young women soliciting advice from their mothers.

She didn’t realize how timely it would be.

“One mom had said to the group of 20-year-olds

something along the lines of, ‘Marry someone who

will be by your side when your parents pass away,’”

Kate said. “Now that that’s become a possibility —

and soon, potentially — there’s nobody else that I

would want by my side while I watch my dad battle

that.”

Kate and Ryan expect to become Ken’s caretakers

in the near future, Ryan said, and the borders of

their family will continue to shift.

“We may lose two children,” he said, referring to

Braydon and Leighton leaving the home, “but we’re

gaining a dad.”

Like in all marriage stories, Ryan and Kate know

there will be grief ahead of them — and goodness,

too. And in the midst of last-minute meal planning

and trips to school and sporting events, they will

remain anchored in what they know to be true.

“Honestly, I think chaos is the only word,” Kate

said, laughing. “But even on the most hectic days,

we remind each other at night, like, ‘This is exactly

what we prayed for — and we would never have it

any other way.” •


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